warnings for abuse, transphobia, dysphoria, bullying, violence
cam pyunBirthdate & age:
2/18/1999, 18 (aquarius)Gender & pronouns:
lower middle classEducation level:
senior in high schoolLanguages known:
koreanHeight and build:
messy and SHORT, which is v important to him. it's very dark black.Voice/manner of speaking:
a little quiet and hesitant, very politeDistinguishing marks:
n/aFashion/way of dress:
baggy sweaters even in the heat. jeans. basically the more of his body he can hide the better. polyvore collection #1General impression:
he is trying to be as small and unassuming as he can, he's like a mouse
adventuring & feeling Like A Man
being away from home
never being able to 'fully transition'Dreams/Goals:
being a 'real boy'Strengths:
entrenched in toxic masculinity, dysphoria which distracts him, not knowing what he wantsQuirks:
keeps creepy little notebooks on people I:What puts your character at ease:
nothing everWhat makes your character uncomfortable:
everything everSoft spots/vulnerabilities:
yesHow they try to come across to others:
like a little mouse What they try to hide about themselves:
he reaeeaeeally doesn't like most people knowing he's trans, although with him living in the girl's dorm its kind of unavoidableHow they really feel about themselves:
:) badCharacter traits:
(aspects of their personality that were not covered by the above sections)
LIFESTYLE & PHILOSOPHYWhat are your character’s thoughts on…-- Substance use:
not for him-- Sex/romance:
?????? ? ?? ? ? but who could ever love someone worthless like him-- Marriage/children:
loosely christian-- Politics:
he doesnt know much about them-- Technology:
yeaHow social are they?:
hes p introverted, the kind to have a few v close friendsTypes of people they like:
uhhhhTypes of people they dislike:
tbh just mpa studentsSaving/spending habits:
he has no money of his own and spends all his like, birthday money on clothes bc he's had to completely build a wardrobe while he's been hereRecreational activities:
no and no I:GPA:
lowHow do they feel about their school?:
it's.... where he goes, and it's far from homeHow studious are they?:
he tries okAfter-school/part time job:
FAMILY & HOMESignificant relatives / pets:
-- sue pyun, motherRelationship with family:
his mom is pretty heavily abusive and he does not like her at all, but he also desperately wants to impress her and make her proud.Current residence:
dorm a @ mcgillicuttyDescription of bedroom/living space:
BACKGROUNDPlace of birth/hometown:
thank god she named her cameron.
it's almost a boy's name, it's Unisex (even though it still feels like bile in his throat when he says it himself), he wonders why she chose it, cameron cameron cameron, instead of something else. priscilla. josephine. marianne. something with lace on its letters. he's not complaining. it's easier this way.
(or maybe not. maybe he would do better to sever from cameron completely, to run away, to leave cameron bleeding in the dirt where she belongs and become someone else. john. jack. michael. a man's name)
they make fun of him at school. he tries to use the boys' bathroom, silly cameron in her pretty skirts with her long, long hair (she won't let him cut it she won't let him it's never been cut it's so long, pretty pretty cameron). he's always known, as long as he can remember, but they don't understand, they don't understand, cameron cameron cameron, silly girl, pretty girl. sit back, be quiet.
she does, she is.
dad leaves when cam is seven. you crazy bitch, he keeps saying, you crazy bitch, look what you're doing to her
(he doesn't understand, he thinks it's a phase, he thinks cam is a tomboy. he's tired of it, tired of it, the way she screams and holds cam down while she paints his face and brushes his hair until his scalp is red and raw, the way she slaps him when he tries to pull off his skirt, the words she calls him. but he doesn't take cam with him, leaves him behind with her. he cares but not enough.)
cam is quiet. he sits back. he listens. he learns, he learns when to say yes mother and no mother. he learns to stop fidgeting, to wear the skirts, to balance the books on his head, to hold an aspirin between his knees (except for the days when it's all too much and he screams and claws with the pretty long nails she makes him keep, he draws blood from her cheek and from his knobbly knees) and he is a Good Daughter sometimes, when she strokes his long, long, pretty, long hair. (but on the playground at school, on the playground, he borrows shorts, he runs, he laughs, he breathes easy. alone, but cam. not cameron.)
sometimes he thinks about how he would do it. it would be easy, it would be easy; he's noticed how everyone moves, what everyone does. it's easy to find out how these days, a noxious gas, a neighbor's gun. he wonders how they would look sprawled out, bleeding, gasping. all of them. her. everyone.
he pushes it down and takes notes anyway.
he finds a school.
the pamphlet reads traditional values, reads separate dorms, reads high stone walls and ivy and roses, so pretty, like a fairytale. it's somewhere that his mom will approve of.
she thinks it's perfect, of course. he isn't brilliant. he's not talented, not gifted. but he can lie. he can keep a straight face. he can sit back, be quiet, sit back, be quiet.
on his first day she cuts his hair off for him (another she, not her. a student.)
it's safe here. he can think. he doesn't see so much blood. he can think. there are friends here. it's safe here. he jumps at every sound, keeps a skirt in his drawer. just in case. they keep him in the girl's dorm, cameron cameron cameron, but he's away from home. away from her.
(his hair is cut roughly. uneven. ugly. not long, long, pretty. but it's his. every inch but is a fingertip off of his throat.
it's safe here. he can think.
there are friends here.)How their past affects them:
hella. he's a mess, he's hypervigilant and paranoid and his personality is greatly influenced by his abuse, leading him to be quiet (better seen than heard) and ~~traditionally feminine in a lot of ways. being so dysphoric has also lead to him being p entrenched in toxic masculinity.Character’s feelings about their past:
bad shit op