Welcome to Will to Live, a RP set in the fictional town of Monroeville, Maine. Orginally a small fishing village turned college town turned tourist trap, long-time locals are now outnumbered by newcomers in their ever-expanding hometown. Plots are primarily member-driven, with a wide range of interesting and diverse characters to interact with. Feel free to jump right in; fresh perspectives and ideas are always welcome.

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SUMMER/FALL 2017

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 hey, little songbird, schol / ed
Edna Nödl
 Posted: Jun 4 2017, 03:58 PM
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For a moment, Edna only stares, long enough that it's clear she's waiting for Scholastica to continue without assurance. When she doesn't right away, Edna hums, lets her eyes slide closed again as she lets her head tilt back to rest against the tree again.

"I know it," she confirms finally, her voice flat, bored to hide curiosity. Scholastica doesn't seem like Icarus at all to her, too meek, not arrogant enough on the surface.

Edna turns the girl's hands over in hers, thumbs pressing deep into the groves of her palms while she waits for Scholastica to peel back her own layers for her to see.

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Scholastica Řezník
 Posted: Jun 4 2017, 09:24 PM
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She looks away when Edna finally answers.

"So, the sun. It's like... God. It brings us life, it's always there, its bigger and more powerful than people realize. And... and Icarus he, well he wants to get closer and closer to the sun. And..." she stutters, frowns. It was a good comparison in her head, one she'd been thinking about for years now over and over and over and over again. There's a price to pay for pride.

"Sometimes I find myself thinking I'm above everyone else. Like I'm better than human. Like I deserve more than someone else because I suppress all my vices and I can find happiness in it when they don't." Her voice gets quieter then, shamed by what she's saying.

"It's arrogant to think that way. My Aunt said to deny your sins is like denying your humanity. So... that."

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Edna Nödl
 Posted: Jun 19 2017, 07:32 PM
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But Edna can't see anything wrong with denying one's humanity, pushing away or ignoring thoughts or feelings that made her feel a little too grounded, a little too much like them, going without food or sleep or the other things that her body long ago learned to stop crying out for because that made her better, stronger, smarter than everyone else.

It's not arrogance if it's true.

But she doesn't think it is in Scholastica's case, though--she's not like Edna, she only wishes she were.

It makes Edna smile, something smug, an inside joke. "Oh," she sighs dreamily, digs into the girl's palms even harder at that. She's too solid to be anything special.

"Tell me your sins."

Something no one else knew, something just for her.

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Scholastica Řezník
 Posted: Jun 20 2017, 12:05 PM
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But Scholastica pulls herself away, shakes her head. "That--that won't do anything for either of us. I already go to confession. And you're the one who's sick."

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Edna Nödl
 Posted: Jul 11 2017, 04:11 PM
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"You wanted to know why I'm here," Edna reminds her calmly, like it doesn't matter to her either way, even though she's interested now, too much to just let Scholastica walk away.

A little afraid too, because if Scholastica walks away now she'll still have this secret of Edna's, of where she goes when she should be working. She could use this against Edna easily, if she really wanted to,

Edna needs the security of knowing that if it came down to that, she could hurt this girl right back.

"That's my price," she insists. "I can't trust you unless you give me something."

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Scholastica Řezník
 Posted: Jul 11 2017, 05:49 PM
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internalized homophobia




It's only fair

right?


"I want to join a sisterhood, but I'm not sure I'm worthy enough. And then there's... I wonder if I shouldn't. I went to an all girls boarding school, and Alpha Nu is all-girls too. Sometimes I think it's the wrong place to be, because I get these strange thoughts."

(Adrienne Kang is pretty, and whenever she's sad Scholastica thinks she'd do anything to make it go away, absolutely anything.

Eurydice Lennox has soft skin and pretty hair that makes her look almost ethereal with flowers braided in. She wants to hold her hand sometimes, brush her hair, touch her face.

There were others, girls in her boarding school, girls in her sorority, girls in her classes, girls around town.

She doesn't know when those thoughts go from innocent to not.)

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Edna Nödl
 Posted: Jul 20 2017, 04:50 PM
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"Oh?"

Edna's smiling again, and she knows what that means, can hear it in the way Scholastica says it.

But she wants to make it worse, wants to drag it all the way out of the girl, wants it to really feel like she's losing something, a secret part of herself that she now has to share with Edna. "What kind of strange thoughts?"

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Scholastica Řezník
 Posted: Jul 21 2017, 12:18 PM
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But, Scholastica shakes her head. Shakes it again.

"Nothing, everyone else in my family is perfect except for me, it's just another one of those things. The key to perfection is accepting your imperfections, they say, but sometimes I want to just... take those things out of my body and leave it behind. It makes it worse.

That's my secret. Now please..." she's begging now. "Don't make me leave you out here in the cold."

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Edna Nödl
 Posted: Jul 21 2017, 01:08 PM
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But Edna still doesn't move, her eyes wandering over the blurred shapes of Scholastica's face. She's thinking, turning the girl's secret over in her mind, filing it away, debating how much to reveal in exchange.

"I'm sad," she offers finally, the why Scholastica had been asking for. And as hard as it was for Edna to share that much, it slides out sounding empty and unemotional, an observation as casual as the sky is blue, water is wet,

Edna Nödl is sad
.

"Being here helps," she adds, reaching down on either side of her to dig her nails into the dirt. "So I'm staying."

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Scholastica Řezník
 Posted: Jul 21 2017, 01:14 PM
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And, Edna will hear Scholastica sniffle too.

(She's crying, pulling feelings out of her and being met by a brick wall. She doesn't know Edna Nödl well enough to know how much she's been given, hardly considers it now as she stands from her spot and looks down on Edna.)

"I have to go to work now," she says. "Will you still be here when I come back?"

(She hopes

not)

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Edna Nödl
 Posted: Jul 21 2017, 01:33 PM
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Edna smiles distantly. She can hear the tears in Scholastica's voice. Good.

"Come and see," is her answer, and she wonders if Scholastica actually would.

But wanting to know isn't enough to fix this space for her. It's ruined now, this secret of hers.

And so Edna leaves as soon as she's sure she's alone, as soon as she's sure Scholastica or anyone else won't see her giving in to that weakness.

She doesn't choose that part of the woods again.







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